Survivor Gabon: Earth's Last Eden
He's a Snake, But He's My Snake
By Jim Van Nest, Survivor Analyst
October 24, 2008

Which of these two did better in the challenges? It's even.

Hello, good people, and welcome back to Survivor: Gabon. It seems like only yesterday we were talking about how Fang still sucks, Kelly's still dumb, Crystal is a nosy bitch who needs to stay out of other people's stuff, Sugar's also dumb for leaving her stuff out and GC is still useless and hating life in Gabon. Oh yeah...and they sent him packing. Oh, I guess that WAS yesterday, wasn't it? Well, I'm back on schedule this week, so let's take a peek inside Earth's Last Eden!

We begin this week, like we always do, at the Fang camp after Tribal. Ace tells us how GC had to go. He also tells us that he has Sugar in his pocket, but he needs someone else to help him make it to the merge. Meanwhile, Matty seems to be missing food, his dog and his girlfriend. He says he's been in bad shape since he got there and if someone, ANYone would approach him with an even halfway decent plan, he's totally on board. Enter Ace! After a few minutes, they make a deal. Matty gets to keep his Kenny and Ace gets to keep his Sugar. Matty swears on his girlfriend and Ace swears on his mother that they'll help each other get to the merge. Matty then tells us that he wouldn't break that bond for $5 million. I fear, for Matty's sake, he won't get the same from Ace. Cue the theme.

We come back from the credits to Kota and the topic is food. Bob tells us that the tribe is eating too much, particularly Dan. He's taking as much food as several other players combined. Corinne tells us that they're going through food at an alarming rate and she's sick of it being wasted on Dan.

Back at Fang, they're almost out of rice. They're doing their best to figure out how best to cook and eat. Ken tells us they have six day's worth and we're on Day 16. Um...oops! Ace comes in to tell Sugar that he's pretty sure the tribe went through her bag and they know she has the idol. She asks if she should give him the idol. Her thought process is if they think she has it, maybe giving it to Ace will trip them up a bit. And I can't believe it, but she actually gives him the idol! She says she's put all of her trust in Ace and now her entire game is riding on him. We see Ace in a confessional telling us about his deals with Matty and Sugar and as he's in the middle of telling us how great he is, he's distracted by an elephant that has jumped into the water right behind him. Considering we could see it too, I honestly didn't hear what he said, because I saw the elephant and it stole my attention.

Probst sighting!! For today's challenge, each tribe will be tethered to a 20 foot long, 250 pound snake. They will each move in opposite directions around in a circle trying to catch the other tribe. If you get too tired or weak, you can drop out of the challenge, but that makes it harder on everyone else. First tribe to catch the other wins reward. Wanna know what they're playing for? Breakfast! Donuts, tea, coffee and all that good stuff. Mmmmmm. Corinne will sit out for Kota and it's on.

Both tribes take off and after one lap, Kota is gaining ground on Fang thanks to Kelly's uselessness. After the second lap, Kota is really gaining and then Sugar, Ken and Kelly drop out and Fang actually picks up the pace. Susie drops out for Kota, and Fang is actually getting some ground back. As Crystal drops out, Matty is getting pissed that she was slowing them down, while Ace is getting pissed that they can't carry all that. And after about 30 seconds of that, Kota just overpowers the two-man team of Matty and Ace and Kota wins yet another reward. Next up is who gets to go to Exile Island. As Jeff asks Crystal what's the worst part, Randy is heard making fake whining sounds. He then tells us that he gets so happy watching the other tribe lose. As Sugar makes her fourth consecutive trip to Exile, Crystal lets us know that she's done with Randy and when the tribes merge, the old Fang and new Fang will have no relationship.

We come back from break to the Kota tribe again. Marcus is so pumped at how well the tribe works together. It comes time to divvy up the loot and Charlie suggests that they split everything up and then people can eat their share whenever they want to. As Dan annoys EVERYone with the whole food thing, Randy tells us that it's probably time to start distancing himself from Dan and making a stronger bond with the old Kota members.

Over at the Sugar Shack, Sugar's finally breaking. She liked it at first, but now she feels horrible that she gets to sit and eat fruit while the rest of her tribe has no food. Plus she already found the idol. She's just upset.

Back at Fang, the discussion is about getting a bunch of work done today, since tomorrow is going to be pretty hot. Kelly and Ace are talking about how Crystal is starting to go the way of GC. They are watching her lose it. Crystal and Matty are talking around the fire and she's saying she hopes they don't see her tears as weakness. She decides she needs to go find Kelly and Ace and as she heads out, she says that Kelly is going to "feel the wrath of Crystal." And here we go! Crystal tracks them down and lets them know not to view her tears as a sign of weakness. She tells them that she's fine now. Of course, Kelly sees it as a sign of weakness. And that's pretty much it. Hey Crystal, maybe wrath doesn't mean what you think it means.

Back at Kota, Bob's caught a turtle. And a big one at that. As they get the turtle in the boat, all the talk is about some turtle soup. As everyone eats, Marcus tells us that their morale is at an all time high and Fang better watch out. Interesting that he would say that, since it's time for a...

Probst sighting! Today's challenge is a physical one. The tribes will divide into three pairs. They'll be tethered together with rope. One at a time, the pairs will roll through an obstacle course to find two pieces of a flagpole. As each team goes out, obstacles will be added. The first tribe to get all six pieces of the flagpole assembled wins immunity. Susie will sit out for Kota.

The first pairs to go are Bob and Randy for Kota and Kelly and Sugar for Fang. Kelly and Sugar blow the old guys out of the water on the first obstacle. But Bob catches up and the teams untie the flagpole sections at the same time with Kota having a slight lead as they go back through the obstacle. The girls are slowing down horribly. Corinne and Charlie are on the course for Kota and are through the obstacle before Ace and Crystal even get on the course. Kota is making it through the second obstacle as Fang gets through the first. Crystal and Ace are actually making up some ground, but they are SO far behind. Corinne releases the flagpole pieces and she and Charlie continue the lead for Kota. Ace and Crystal have made up a lot of ground, though.

Dan and Marcus hit the course and they're just blowing through this thing. Matty and Ken hit the course as well and we may actually have a challenge. Dan and Marcus have a slight lead on the third obstacle, but Matty and Ken climb over it rather than through it and take the lead. Both teams get the final pieces at about the same time. As they come to the final obstacle, they're neck and neck. Kota gets to the mat first, but Fang is only about three seconds behind. Now it's about untying the pieces and putting them together. Teamwork is a huge thing here and Kota has it as they pull away from Ace, who doesn't want any help from anyone. And just like that, Kota raises the flagpole and sends Fang back to Tribal Council. Crystal tells us that Ace is a tyrant and a bully and people see him as a force in challenges, but they haven't won anything with him.

We come back to Fang to decide who gets thrown out tonight. Ace tells us that he's done with Kelly and she has to go. Matty approaches Ace about flushing the idol out of Sugar tonight. Ace tells him that she won't play the idol tonight and to trust him. Matty goes right along with him and decides Kelly is the move to make. We then see Crystal and Matty talking about blind siding Sugar. Matty says that's not gonna happen and Kelly should go. Crystal says that Ace should go and Matty says they need him to win. Crystal points out that even with Ace they haven't won anything. She's very concerned about the Ace-Sugar alliance. Even Ken thinks Kelly is the vote tonight.

Crystal tells Ken that she thinks Matty is flipping on them. Ken goes straight to Matty and says they have to get rid of Ace. Matty says he can't because he made a serious promise not to. Ken is seriously worried about the game getting away from them the longer they keep Ace around. He goes off to talk to Sugar. He tells her that the honest people get screwed in this game by the people like Ace. She tells him that she gave the idol to Ace and wonders if she should get it back. Ken is blown away to hear that. And all of a sudden, things are changing. Next we see Sugar tell Ace that she took the idol back, just so he knows. She then says, "But I'm not gonna need it, right?" He assures her that she won't. Apparently, Ken knows that she took the idol back and he feels much better knowing she has it instead of Ace. Ace then tells us that she took the idol, but for this vote he's not too worried. And that's probably a bad thing.

We get to Tribal and Jeff points out the obvious; they have won two challenges on the season. Matty says they must be cursed. Kelly says that they just can't work together as a team. Jeff concurs that this tribe is a team playing as individuals. Crystal and Ace agree that they didn't work as a team and Ace admits that the majority of the problems on that challenge were his fault. He asks Crystal about the tears at challenges and she says that she's afraid people will see it as a sign of weakness. Kelly suggests that her crying is a sign of not being stable. Crystal gets pretty upset at that and tells her that if she can't figure out she's upset from losing and hardly eating, that she might not last too much longer out there either. This little argument goes on for a bit longer and frankly, I don't care enough about either of these people to even recap it. Somehow Ace gets brought into it and Kelly accuses Ace of talking out of both sides of his mouth all the time. Ace's response, "Actually Kelly, I'd be impressed if you understood what I was saying half the time." And he's so right too. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Dumbest. Survivor. Ever. Jeff moves on to Matty, saying that he seems like he shouldn't be worried. He says that there's no logic in this tribe, so it could be anyone. And mercifully, it's time to vote.

We see Ace's vote for Kelly saying it's been a long time coming. We hear Crystal's vote, "Forget you, go home." After the argument, you have to think she voted Kelly. Jeff asks about the idol and once again, Sugar keeps it to herself. First vote, Kelly. Second vote, Crystal. The rest of the votes come up Kelly. WOO HOO!!!!! I've been waiting for her ticket to get punched and I have to tell you, it feels good to watch her take that long walk to Loser's Lodge. Someone that stupid should never have been allowed on this show in the first place. Good riddance!

Next time on Survivor: both tribes will be voting someone out. And what we see next is a montage of strategy. Vote out Sugar, vote out Crystal, blindside Ace, Susie's made it far enough, Dan's the vote tonight, Crystal thinks Ken's going, Ken thinks Crystal's going and Susie tells Corinne she was going to vote for her. Confused? You won't be after next week's episode of Survivor! Til then, take care!

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