Trailer Hitch
By Eric Hughes
June 25, 2008
BoxOfficeProphets.com

What a lovely resort destination. I think I'll stick to beaches, thanks.

Welcome to Trailer Hitch, BOP's look at the latest movie trailers to hit the Internet. This week: A new thriller solidifies itself as a train wreck, Dane Cook finally makes me laugh and an adorable dog challenges Jennifer Aniston to a Baywatch-off.

Transsiberian – Opens August 1st

There's something about this one that just doesn't seem right. Perhaps it's Brit Ben Kingsley, who fails at passing for a Russian. Or good girl Emily Mortimer, who slaps someone with a frighteningly large blunt object after clinging for dear life to a runaway train. Of course, there's the classic "who are the bad guys?" line, to which Kingsley replies, "people who look innocent, but are really not." (All that's missing here is the iconic "dum dum duuum" at the end of his quotation). In a very formulaic-looking movie, Mortimer and Woody Harrelson star as an American couple who take the famed Trans-siberian train from Beijing to Moscow before heading home. On it, they befriend other travelers, Carlos and Abby (Eduardo Noriega and Kate Mara), who turn out not to be who they seem. Transsiberian is pegged as a thriller, but apparently forget the all-important thrills and chills.

Grade: D

Also expected to be released on this date: The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, Swing Vote, Midnight Meat Train, Frozen River

The Longshots – Opens August 22nd

Little Akeelah Anderson (Keke Palmer) from 2006's Akeelah and the Bee is back in another feel good family comedy. Only this time, she's involved in a totally different kind of competition. In The Longshots, Keke stars alongside Ice Cube in a film based on the true story of the first (and so far) only girl quarterback in Pop Warner football history. Ice Cube, who apparently is taking a leave from movies whose titles end in question marks, plays Keke's uncle, Curtis Plummer, a former football star who recruits his niece to help turn around the local Minden, Illinois football team. Themes the film aims to explore, like clashes between the sexes and issues with unmotivated parents, are a bit tired and cliche, so hopefully they won't weigh down the film as much as they did the trailer.

Grade: C+

Also expected to be released on this date: Death Race 3000, I Served the King of England, The House Bunny, Crossing Over, Hamlet 2, Momma's Man

I Served the King of England – Opens August 22nd

Jiri Menzel is setting out to prove he's still got it, even after he's been keeping it quiet – at least in the States – for just over 40 years. The Academy Award-winning director for Best Foreign Language Film is back with I Served the King of England, a Czech film that premiered two years ago in its home country, and is finally seeing the light of day in America. Featuring far too many comedic slaps to the head – I counted five – I Served the King of England stars Ivan Barney as a promising young waiter who hopes to one day make millions. He steadily works his way up his specific career path – from a small pub to a luxury brothel to a fine restaurant – all while set against the backdrop of European life in the late 1930s and Hitler's subsequent rise to power.

Grade: C

Also expected to be released on this date: Death Race 3000, The Long Shots, The House Bunny, Crossing Over, Hamlet 2, Momma's Man

My Best Friend's Girl – Opens September 19th

Finally a trailer that really makes me laugh! It's My Best Friend's Girl, a comedy from newbie scribe Jordan Cahan and starring Jason Biggs, Kate Hudson and Dane Cook. From Jason stumbling over his words in the cold open to Dane mouth-raping some Spanish food to old ladies falling to the floor like bricks – and even a guest appearance by Jack Donaghy, er, Alec Baldwin – this preview looks awfully promising. (A big deal of sorts, considering Dane Cook hasn't ever been funny outside of his standup). In My Best Friend's Girl, Biggs stars as Dustin, a man who turns to his best friend, Tank (Cook), to help him win back his girl's (Hudson) heart. The gig sounds easy enough for Tank, who makes a career out of going on purposefully lousy dates with recently-turned-single women so that they run back to their previous boyfriends. The problem here, though, is that Tank can't seem to shake Dustin's former girlfriend, Alexis. My Best Friend's Girl could very well be a September hit. I'm only surprised Lionsgate didn't try releasing it in the summer season.

Grade: A

Also expected to be released on this date: Igor, Ghost Town, Blindness, Lakeview Terrace, Management, Taken

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – Opens December 19th

About a week before Christmas, director David Fincher (Fight Club, Se7en) will reteam with Brad Pitt for a third time in the release of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, loosely based on a 1922 short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald. In the film, Pitt plays the title character, a man who is born at age 80 and lives his life in reverse. Further complications arise when Benjamin falls in love with a 30-year-old woman (Cate Blanchett). The trailer is a bit stunning – and not only because Brad Pitt is involved. It's reminiscent of the one released just last month for Woody Allen's Vicki Cristina Barcelona. Certainly not for content, but that they both describe the ensuing narrative through visuals, aided with a simple soundtrack and nothing more.

Grade: B+

Also expected to be released on this date: Yes Man, The Tale of Despereaux

Marley & Me – Opens December 25th

One startlingly useful statistic to know – for conversation starter purposes of course – is exactly how many times Synthesizer Syndicate's "Chariots of Fire" has been used in the movies. (Really, I want to know). The people behind the teaser to Christmas Day's Marley & Me make good use of it here, so much so that any dog lover will surely get excited (in more ways than one) at director David Frankel's take on the popular autobiographical novel by John Grogan. Seriously, it's a baby lab running no where in particular for nearly a full minute. Now, who's going to hate on that?

Grade: B-

Also expected to be released on this date: Bedtime Stories, The Spirit, Patriots