Trailer Hitch
By Eric Hughes
May 21, 2008
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Is George Lucas overcompensating for his manly shortcomings or what?

Welcome to Trailer Hitch, BOP's look at the latest movie trailers to hit the Internet. This week: A foursome of friends gets terrified of a lunch bag, Brendan Fraser convinces me that he is destined to become the next Nicolas Cage, Billy Connolly runs around aimlessly in the next X-Files chapter and George Lucas proves Star Wars will...never...die.

The Promotion – Opens June 6th

Seeing Jenna Fischer (The Office's Pam Beesly) in a new movie trailer made my heart skip a beat, especially since it is quite evident that she has matured, theatrically speaking, from last year's disastrous Blades of Glory. The Promotion stars Seann William Scott and John C. Reilly as two rival assistant managers of a corporate grocery store who vie for a coveted promotion at a new food market under construction. The trailer has a quasi-indie feel to it, due in part to its quirky characterizations of its lead characters and blunt dialogue offerings. And I even had to laugh a little, not so much at Scott, but at Reilly, who has made his name in comedy as of late in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story and this summer's Step Brothers. The film comes from hit-or-miss writer-director Steve Conrad, who is the man behind The Pursuit of Happyness and The Weather Man, both of which reviewed fairly mediocre to critics. This one looks like it could be good, but then again I have yet to like anything actor Scott has touched.

Baghead – Opening date to be determined

Featuring a cast of unknowns, Baghead is about a group of four friends who venture to a cabin in the woods to gather inspiration for a story and then write a screenplay about it. Soon after their arrival, Greta Gerwig's character, Michelle, describes a dream she had the previous evening, featuring a man in the woods with a paper bag over his head. The group decides to use the scenario as the basis of their screenplay, only to discover later that the bag-headed man may in fact exist. Though part thriller, the film is also part comedy, which the trailer hints at with its playful nature and quirky one-liners. And Chad, portrayed by Steve Zissis, appears to be the film's comedic scene-stealer. In one part, he kisses his buddy, Matt, three times on the cheek before saying, "that was excessive, wasn't it?" In another, he becomes envious of Matt's ability to attract the ladies, to which he says, "You get all the chicks. You have Elvis hair." Baghead is shot in the often-effective cinema verite, a style that benefits the intimacy that the film looks like it is trying to achieve.

The Wackness – Opens July 3rd

Set during the backdrop of Rudy Giuliani's beginnings as mayor of New York City, including the implementation of his "anti-fun" initiatives, Luke Shapiro (Josh Peck) spends his final summer in the city selling marijuana to his shrink (Ben Kingsley) while totally macking his step-daughter (Olivia Thirlby). And the site of a doped-up Ben Kingsley – yes, the Academy Award-winning Ben Kingsley – is absolutely wonderful, even if he only appears in the preview for a few seconds. The trailer doesn't offer much more than that, though. I found myself sifting through trivial dialogue for a film that doesn't seem to be about much of anything. It's pegged as a comedy, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be funny.

Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D – Opens July 11th

I couldn't help but be reminded of one certain, awkward actor after watching Brendan Fraser deliver some of his lines in the new trailer for Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D - Nicolas Cage. Like Cage in his more recent theatrical offerings (think the National Treasure franchise), Fraser's character considers himself brilliant when making a startling "revelation" that nearly any six-year-old could do as well, forcing me to laugh at parts that probably shouldn't be all that funny. When taking a look at the Earth's innards for first time, Fraser announces, "A world...within a world." A little bit later, he tells his traveling partners, "Ladies and gentlemen. I give you...the center of the Earth." But with its dainty PG rating, I'm probably a bit above New Line's target audience. About halfway through the trailer, the film shamelessly plugs itself as the first live action digital 3D movie, which certainly is fitting for a film like Journey. Set in the center of the Earth, where apparently dinosaurs still exist, its mysterious 3D insides should look rather beautiful on the silver screen.

The X-Files: I Want to Believe – Opens July 25th

There hasn't been a theatrical X-Files release in ten years, and the series ended its television run in 2002. So let's just say hardcore X-Files fans are waiting with high expectations to see what creator Chris Carter is releasing this summer. Judging by the premiere trailer, Carter didn't put too much energy into his X-Files update. Though I'm no fan of the series myself, the trailer certainly didn't make me want to add the film's July 25th release date to my calendar. It all begins rather generically, with the typical "there are mysteries that cannot be solved" and "a truth that cannot be ignored" text that is commonly seen in thrillers interwoven between flashes of video. It isn't until a third of the way through that the X-Files theme begins to play, marking the first appearances of special agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully (David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson). But even then, the trailer reverts back to its silly, generic self, with actor Billy Connolly running frantically around for someone – or something – buried just underneath the snow. Sorry, folks. This one looks like a gigantic misfire.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars – Opens August 15th

Just when you think the whole Star Wars "thing" is over, George Lucas has to scrape the bottom of the barrel yet again for an additional source of sci-fi income. No, it's not the rumored live-action trilogy that follows the events of Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (tear), but rather a CGI-animated film set during the three-year period between Episodes II and III. The film, which is intended to precede the animated TV series slated to air on Cartoon Network later this year, is about the search for Jabba the Hutt's son by two Jedi - Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Admittedly, the film looks rather spectacular, especially the animated appearances of such well known, fictional movie stars like Yoda, R2-D2 and C-3PO. Still, I could have done without the title sequence near the end of the trailer, which proclaims Clone Wars offers movie audiences the opportunity to see Star Wars like we never have before. Oh, really?

Vicky Cristina Barcelona – Opens August 29th

In true Woody Allen fashion, not much is known about the acclaimed filmmaker's latest, his fourth in a row to be shot outside the United States and first to be filmed in Spain. And after viewing one of the most bizarrely made trailers I have seen in recent memory, the same holds true. I know nothing more about the film's plot, save for the fact that Javier Bardem, who thankfully got a makeover after looking like death in No Country for Old Men, appears to be a total whore in this one. Featuring no spoken dialogue, and just a Spanish band lightly playing over quick clips of action, the trailer shows Bardem making out with Rebecca Hall, kissing Scarlett Johansson, slobbering over Johansson (again), gently kissing Johansson (again), and returning back to Hall by trailer's end. Oh, and though it's not pictured here, the film reportedly carries a threesome between Bardem, Johansson and Penelope Cruz, which may be the hottest combination of colliding celebrity bodies in the history of American cinema. Ever. The preview ends on the unexpected, as Cruz rounds a corner and shoots at an unknown target. Creepy, Woody, creepy.