How to Spend $20
By Eric Hughes
May 20, 2008
BoxOfficeProphets.com
For people who curse the WGA writers' strike for keeping Jack Bauer off the air in 2008: 24: Season One (Special Edition)
It's hard to believe Jack Bauer and company last appeared on TV airwaves in May 2007 - and won't show up again for another eight months. Since November 2001, Kiefer Sutherland has been such a mainstay on Fox. It felt absolutely bizarre to accept the news that the network had decided to bar the series from airing in 2008 entirely. So instead of using this year to continue enjoying new adventures of a man who simply cannot die - because, thanks to Fox, you literally can't - the alternative is to get yourself caught up with what Bauer has been up to for the past six years or so. His missions have included trying to save the president from an assassination plot, stopping a nuclear bomb from detonating in L.A. and acquiring a deadly virus that has made its way to underground markets, among others. For the newbies, here is where it all began, and in a special edition to boot.
Disc includes: trailers for 24: Season 7, Prison Break: Season 2, and Burn Notice; 25 extended and deleted scenes; alternative ending; The Genesis of 24 documentary; The Rookie online short films: Coffee Run, Get This To...
For people who can't believe Seinfeld has been off the air for ten years: Bee Movie
Jerry Seinfeld is a strange dude. I say this because ever since his television series exited NBC, the man has done more or less nothing - save for a rare guest appearance on 30 Rock, in which he plays none other than himself. Even so, the man continues to both be in the news and retain his star power. Bee Movie, of course, would be that other exception. The film, which he produced, wrote, starred in and relentlessly promoted, is about a bee, Barry B. Benson (Seinfeld), who is dumbfounded that bees spend their entire lives making honey. Making matters worse, he falls in love with a woman (Renee Zellweger) who eventually shows Barry that humans eat honey, which puts the bee in an interesting predicament. The film reached moderate success at the box office - $126 million and change in domestic theaters, against a steep $150 million production budget. Here's hoping Jerry won't go into hiding for another decade or so.
Disc includes: Audio commentary (with Jerry and select crew members), lost scenes, alternative endings, Inside the Hive (a short cast featurette), Jerry's Flight Over Cannes (Seinfeld's publicity stunt), 16 TV Junior shorts, two live-action trailers, fun facts, trivia games, music videos.
For people who actually think Jon Heder is a good actor: Blades of Glory
Don't worry, I don't fall into that category - I still hold on to the opinion that replacing Heder with Luke Wilson would have made this a much better flick. Even so, Blades of Glory tells the story of two rival Olympic ice skaters (Heder and Will Ferrell), who are permanently banned from men's single competitions after being stripped of their 2002 gold medals. However, the duo discovers a loophole that allows them to qualify as a pairs team. Though Blades of Glory doesn't rank higher than Old School and Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, it does surpass Kicking & Screaming and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, all star vehicles for funny man Ferrell.
Disc includes: Return to Glory: The Making of Blades documentary, five featurettes, four deleted scenes, Bo Bice's Blades of Glory music video, gag reel, five photo galleries.
For people who need a distraction from the disastrous new season of Lost: Cloverfield
Seriously, what is going on with that show these days? I used to watch with anticipation for new episodes, but now you'd have to pay me to tune in. Well, to make a long story short, J.J. Abrams made the right decision in taking a break from his T.V. drama to release his very own monster movie for the big screen. Stealing a page from the Blair Witch handbook, Abrams decided to film this one in extreme cinema verite (aka: if you eat a huge meal before popping this one in the DVD player, you may lose it all by the time the closing credits begin crawling). Though nothing is really explained in the film - what the monster is, where the monster comes from, why New York City - Cloverfield gets the job done in the making-you-jump-out-of-your-seat department. Consider it the monster flick of this generation.
Disc includes: Document 1.18.08: The Making of Cloverfield, Cloverfield Visual Effects, deleted scenes, gag reel, two alternative endings.
For people who think Albert Brooks is underrated: Defending Your Life / Looking For Comedy In the Muslim World (Double Feature)
Defending Your Life is a little known romantic comedy starring Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep as two dead people who must literally defend their lives - the good and the bad - with the help of special lawyers (Oh I love you, Rip Torn!) in order to convince the intergalactic judges who look over their separate cases that they are fit for moving on to the next level of their lives. The film is absolutely charming, and very funny. In fact, most everything I have seen written by Brooks - Mother, The Muse - falls into this category. The exception, of course, is Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World, a movie bundled here with Defending Your Life. This one is about Brooks, who plays himself, as a comedy-actor hired by the U.S. government to travel to India and Pakistan to find out what makes Muslims laugh. Though to give him credit, I found the first two-thirds or so to be quite enjoyable, before it completely collapsed in on itself.
Disc includes: Biographies, trailers.
For people who must have every Nic Cage film in their collection (and I mean EVERY Nic Cage film): National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets
Oh Nic Cage, what has happened to you? Following your star turn as an American bad ass in big '90s action flicks like The Rock, Con Air and Face/Off, you have relentlessly signed on for appearances in completely crappy projects. (OK, that's a lie, I loved Adaptation.) Even so, let's take a look at your recent resume, sir. It includes, but is not limited to: City of Angels, Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Windtalkers, World Trade Center, The Wicker Man, Ghost Rider, National Treasure, and its unnecessary sequel, National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets. (Perhaps I even left some out). To those of you who didn't feel the need to waste $10 - me included - National Treasure 2 continues the adventures of treasure hunter Ben Gates (Cage), who tries to uncover the truth behind Abraham Lincoln's assassination. Anyway, at least National Treasure 2 marks the end of this dreadful franchise. (Oh wait, National Treasure 3 is already being planned). Gah, when will it end?!
Disc includes: Audio commentary by the director and actor Jon Voight, deleted scenes with introductions by the director, bloopers, outtakes, eight featurettes.
For people anxiously awaiting Dimension's remake of the 1986 cult classic movie Short Circuit: Short Circuit (Special Edition)
Oh it's happening. Don't think I'm just making things up now that you've reached the end of this column. As reported by Variety in early April, Dimension Films acquired the rights to remake the 1986 original version of Short Circuit, about a robot, Number 5, that develops a mind of its own after being struck by lighting. Then, Number 5 enlists the help of humans to help keep it from being destructed by its makers. A follow-up was released two years later to little fanfare, and the franchise basically ceased there. But the original is where it's at, and luckily for us, a special edition is finally available. Now all we need is that announced remake. Let's hope it doesn't suck.
Disc includes: Commentary by director John Badham, commentary by writers S.S. Wilson and Brent Maddock.
May 20, 2008
Alfie Darling
All Aboard America
Amongst Women
Anger Management
Anguish
Autumn's Eyes
Beyond Hatred
Black Ops
Bloodspit
Blue Collar Comedy: The Next Generation
The Blue Man Group: How To Be A Megastar 2.1
Charles in Charge: The Complete Third Season
Che
Cheerleader U: 1st Season
The Color of Freedom
Counter Terrorism For The Average American
The Craft
Cranford
Cross Bronx
Crossover
The Devil's Own
Dogma
Eaten Sand
Exes & Ohs: The Complete First Season
Forgiving The Franklins
Four Horsemen
Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.: The Fourth Season
Grindhouse Classics
Guliver's Travels
Hamburger Hill (20th Anniversary Edition)
A Haunting: Season 3
The Hunt for John Wilkes Booth
JAG: The Sixth Season
James Stewart: The Western Collection (Set)
The Jeff Corwin Experience: Season Two
Jethro Tull: Jack In The Green Live In Germany
Killing Hour
Louis Armstrong: Greatest Performances
Meeting Resistance
The Muppet Show: Season Three
The New Maverick
Next
Nimrod Nation
Ocean's Eleven
Ocean's Twelve
Perfect Parents
The Search for Osama Bin Laden
Secret Smile
Selling of the President on TV
Sorority Sister Slaughter
Square Pegs: The Complete Series
Stoogemania
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde
Strange Wilderness
Tears Of The Sun
Thank You Billy Graham
TMNT: Ninja Tribunal
Tom Selleck Western Collection (Set)
V for Vendetta
Walking Strong
Weir's Way
Welcome To Star School
What Did You Do In The War, Daddy?
The Willow Tree