Survivor Micronesia: Fans Vs. Favorites
That's Baked, Barbecued, and Fried!
By Jim Van Nest
March 3, 2008

Ah! My cunning plans!

Hello, good people, I've missed you!! After a crazy week last week, everything seems to be back in order and I'm ready to go for Week 4 of Survivor Fans vs. Favorites. I'd like to thank David and Kim for filling in for me last week. So, let's see, what did I miss? Cirie and Jonathan squared off, the Fans were still miserable, Joel and Mikey B are still going at it, somehow the Fans won immunity and even more amazing, Cirie managed to control the vote of the tribe even though she's not part of any alliance and Yau Man was sent packing before he could find another idol. Previews for tonight promised more arguing between Jonathan and Cirie and the discovery of the hidden idol. Oooooh, I can't wait.

We begin tonight on the day after Yau's ouster. Ami and Cirie are talking out in the open about why Ami voted for Cirie. She tells her point blank that she was with them until an hour before Tribal and Cirie didn't communicate what she was doing and because of that, Ami cast her vote in her direction. Cirie explains that she didn't trust Jonathan and Yau. Of course, Jonathan jumps in on that one. And the battle begins again. He tells us that the way she backed out of their alliance was more manipulative than anything he would do. Welllll...that might be a stretch, but we'll let him believe what he wants to believe. Cirie tells us how mad Jonathan is and she seems to be getting a kick out of it. And as we head to the credits, everything is pretty much out in the open. There's a rift between Cirie and Jonathan that is irreparable. The question now is who will win out. Cirie has the numbers, but I wouldn't count Penner out just yet. Cue the theme...

In case you'd forgotten, there is another tribe in this game. We haven't seen them for awhile, but let's check in with them now. As the Fans sit around the fire, the discussion turns to who they think the Favorites booted. Joel tells us that they're all pretty pleased to win immunity and this might be pretty good for them. Throw in that Bon Jovi just caught himself an eel and spirits are at an all time high for the Fans. Well, most of them. Natalie tells us that she's about done with Chet. He's not pulling his weight at all. Mikey B and Jason jump on the slam Chet bandwagon. Mikey tells us that Chet is a physical and mental liability and he's horrible for morale around camp. And with that, we hope you enjoyed our Fans coverage. We now send you back to the people you actually care about.

We check in with the Favs and Eliza is illin'. As in fever, shivers and just flat out sick. Naturally, this makes her the next target. We join James and Ozzy and they talk about how stupid they were to keep Eliza over Yau. James tells us that he just can't believe he let Cirie talk him into voting out Yau. We next join James and Ozzy still lamenting over the decision, but this time in front of the rest of the tribe. To which we hear Eliza, "I'm sitting right here." Like James cares about who hears what he says. We've already seen that he has the strategy of well...a gerbil. Eliza tries to state her case that she's not as sick as they think. She claims she'll be better in a challenge than Yau Man. As she mouths off about not getting any support, James is left to do nothing but laugh at her.

Probst sighting!! Today's challenge is a heavy duty swimming challenge. Four tribe members will all swim out to a platform. Then, one at a time, they will dive down to a 30 foot long steel cage containing several coconuts. Some with letters, some without. Their job is to get the coconuts in their color, with letters from one end of the cage to the other and bring them back to their platform. There are ten each. When they have all ten of them, they swim them back to shore where the others will use the coconuts to spell out a word. First tribe to spell their word wins reward. Today, they're playing for chickens - three egg-laying hens and a rooster. Also, some chicken feed. And the winners will choose someone to go to Exile. The fans will be sitting out Chet today. Let's strategize and get started.

For the Favs, Ozzy, Ami, Parvati and Jonathan are the swimmers. For the Fans it's Jason, Mikey B, Natalie and Alexis. Are you surprised to see Ozzy there first? And once again, Bon Jovi gets his dream match up with Ozzy. As Jason makes his way down the cage, he opens a HUGE lead on Ozzy and brings his first coconut back, sending Mikey B out to the cage. Meanwhile, a check on Ozzy shows he's bringing not one but like five coconuts forward. Mikey B comes up with the second coconut, while Ozzy finally comes back with the first. Jonathan takes off and comes back in lightning time; Ami and Parvati do the same. As Alexis comes back with the third coconut, Ozzy and Jonathan come back with numbers five and six. As Ozzy goes down again, he gets the remaining coconuts to the end of the cage and this challenge is just about over. Only a complete brain fart by the Favs with the word will give the Fans a chance. As Ozzy comes up with number ten and the swim to shore begins, Jason comes up with the eighth coconut for the Fans. The Favs get all the coconuts and surprising everyone on the beach as well as everyone watching at home, James comes up with the word, "triumphant". Favorites win reward. As Parvati strokes James'...ego, they choose Kathy to go back to Exile Island. This time, though, she's being joined by Ozzy.

We come back from break to a dejected Fans tribe. Joel is totally bummed about losing all the rewards. Despite the loss, several other Fans are just in awe of Ozzy and what he does in challenges. Alexis is actually jealous of Kathy for getting to go to Exile with him. I could be wrong, but as long as the Fans would rather get the Favorites autographs, they don't stand a chance at this game. Eric tells us that the Favs are sending Kathy because they see that she's a weaker player. He guesses that she's not looking for the idol at all. Cue Exile...

As we get to Exile Island, there's more "Oh my God, I'm actually here with Ozzy." Kathy is enjoying how much she learns from the Favs she's meeting on Exile Island. She tells Ozzy that she doesn't care about the idol; she's been there and done that. So Ozzy tells her that he's gonna look for food, but goes off on an idol hunt. What took Kathy and Cirie hours to do a couple episodes ago, Ozzy accomplishes in no time. He tells us that he has such a big target on his back; he needs to find that idol. And find the idol, he has. As he tucks it in his hat, he begins his strategy of hiding it from Kathy and everyone else. He also steals a page from Yau Man's book and tries his best to create a fake idol to put in its place. He does his best to carve something out of wood, but honestly, it looked like a piece of wood that was carved with a machete. The beauty of it is that Kathy is completely oblivious to the fact that he's all about the idol and not food. He heads back to the hiding spot of the idol and puts his fake idol in the bag the real one came in and hopes that someone else finds it.

Because we can't get enough of them, we come back from break to the Favorites camp. Cirie is talking to the chickens, preparing them for the slaughter, I think. Eliza takes this time to make a play. She separates Parvati and tries to tell her that she will have her alliance to the end and she won't get the same from Jonathan. As they talk, Jonathan walks up behind them. As Jonathan tells us how painful it is to watch someone on the outside trying to get back on the inside, I can't help but think...Um, Jon...where do you think you are? You're on the short side of the numbers now, my friend. While Eliza might be scrambling today, it will likely be you tomorrow. So save your pity and start playing a smarter game. Parvati tells us that after all that, if they go to Tribal, Eliza will still be going home.

Another Probst sighting. And as they return, Jeff asks Ozzy about the idol. Ozzy says that he figured the clues would be all in the same place or something and that it was a lot harder than he thought it would be. I wonder if they all bought it. For this challenge, six tribe members will race to a six point sliding hub. You know, one of those rigs where all the poles are attached to each other, but they can slide back and forth? Well, they have a set of keys and each person has to find the key that unlocks their pole. Once all locks are opened, they have to navigate this rig through the jungle, which will prove to be difficult, I'm sure. As they do this, they have to grab six puzzle necklaces along the way. Once they get back with all six, the remaining two people will use those necklaces on the decoding wheel and will choose letters that will spell out a three-word phrase. Honestly, I don't understand the wheel thing; we'll just have to see how it goes. Tracy sits out for the Fans and here we go.

Chet and Kathy will be solving the puzzle for the Fans, Eliza and Cirie for the Favs. As each tribe gets to their rig, the Favorites start unlocking locks right away. The Fans on the other hand have a hard time getting their locks opened. As the Favorites finish the last lock and get on the course, the Fans still have three or four locks to get. I'm fairly certain that all of the Favorites have been on one of these rigs before, so they fly through the course. The Favs have four of the six necklaces before the Fans even get on the course. The Fans then get completely stuck while James pulls in the sixth necklace. Are you kidding me? These challenges are turning into a joke. The necklaces are given to Eliza and Cirie and I'm pretty sure they could have put this together blindfolded before the Fans would have gotten back. After a couple minutes, Eliza and Cirie spell out "TRIBE STAYS INTACT" and the Favorites win immunity.

And now it's time to play, "It's anyone but Chet." The Fans hit camp and this time, there's no awe, there's just heads down. Mikey B tells us how they lost again and how it wasn't even close. He tells us that he needs to get to Joel and make sure they get rid of Chet and then he'll get Joel right before the merge. As the two talk, Joel wants Kathy, Mikey wants Chet. Mike tells Joel that if they get rid of Chet, the two of them can go forward as a strong tribe and alliance. We join the misfits and Kathy and Chet have totally given up. Tracy isn't ready to throw in the towel yet. She may get voted out, but she will not go down without a fight. As she tries to get them pumped, they are just dead. Things are not looking good for them right now. So, she approaches Joel. She asks him who's getting the vote. Tracy wants to vote Mikey out and Joel says it can't happen right now as they need his strength in challenges. He tells her that Mikey and Jason want Chet gone to strengthen the tribe. So Tracy comes back with, "Why are you letting him call the shots, right now?" I'll give her this, she's got her back against the wall, and really, this is a last ditch desperation move on Tracy's part to save herself and her alliance of three. She's playing the, "you're such a big man and you're gonna let THAT guy tell you what to do?" card. Every season you see a few people, backs against the wall, try anything to stay in the game. This just in, it never works. But I'll give her points for having the guts to get in the Incredible Hulk's face about it.

Joel plans on getting rid of Mike, but just not right now. Tracy takes it one step further by saying that she thinks Mike will be aiming for him. She tells Joel that all it takes is one more person to dump Mikey B tonight. If they lose another person, she can't help him anymore. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I honestly think it might be working. And if it does, I think it will be time to put Tracy in the "player's" category. Kathy and Chet, no. But Tracy...she may not be someone to underestimate. If this plays out.

The tribe gets to Tribal and Jeff starts out with Jason. He says that after tonight's vote, the tribes will be even in number of people. But are the tribes really even? Jason says the Favorites definitely have the advantage as they've won four of six challenges. But hopefully after tonight, their tribe will be stronger. Jeff then asks Joel how important it is to keep the tribe strong. He says it's very important. Next up Chet owns up to not pulling his weight in the challenges. Mikey jumps in to say that Chet has been hurting and it's nothing personal but right now he lacks the physical capacity to compete. Tracy steps in to say that neither she, Kathy nor Chet took part in the last challenge and they still lost.

Mikey goes on to say that the tribe needs to vote out the weak and keep the tribe strong for challenges. Jeff then asks Eric the strength question to which Eric replies that it's not always about physical strength. Joel is nodding with Eric's comment. The two of them basically speak together about pure physical strength not always being what's called for in a challenge. Sometimes you need more. Jeff declares it time to vote. He calls on Jason who goes into a speech about how important it is to vote out the weak and keep the tribe strong. They've lost four of six challenges and they need to do better. Bottom line, Jason's right...they have to get rid of Chet is they want to have any chance in these challenges. The Favorites are pulling away in every facet of this game and they will continue to dominate, especially if the tribe dumps Mikey B over Chet. I can't imagine a worse vote at this juncture. And it is time to vote.

We see Jason's vote for Chet, "Please. Leave. The. Island." We then see Chet's vote for Mikey B telling him that he's been a loudmouth and never seems to learn. We then see Mike's vote for Chet with no comment. Let's tally the votes. First vote: Chet. Chet. Mikey B. Mikey B. Chet. Mikey B. Tied 3-3. As the rest come in Mikey B, the Fans have done the incredibly stupid and voted off one of the stronger members of their already weak tribe in Mikey B. Nice move Fans. You've practically guaranteed a Favorites sweep the rest of the way.

I think now is a VERY good time to mention that in keeping with my quest to get on Survivor, I'd like to request that everyone reading this article, please continue the email barrage to's feedback forum at this link: Feedback. How in the world can these people playing this game be such huge fans of the show, yet they make stupid move after stupid move? If I wasn't told they were such huge fans, I'd be thinking they've never watched the show. Tonight's vote may well have been the dumbest vote in Survivor history. The fact that Tracy's Hail Mary actually worked is simply amazing to me. And Joel may well go down as one of the biggest suckers in the history of the show. So please, for all of our sake, please email CBS with a link to this article. Say "no" to stupidity and "yes" to playing the game the way it's meant to be played. Thank you.

Next time on Survivor: "Drop your buffs." Are you frickin kidding me? Before the Fans can get burnt by their stupidity, it looks like the show's producers are gonna save them by mixing up the tribes. I have two big problems with this. The first is that the Fans should have to pay for what they've done. As it is, the Mikey B vote may prove to be a stroke of accidental genius. Second, now I'm gonna have to learn the names of the tribes, because I can't just call them Fans and Favorites anymore. *sigh* Also coming next week, a really tough physical challenge seems to have Joel and Chet paired up, hee hee. And Jonathan gets some sort of injury requiring an injection and causing Eliza to say, "Apparently, he could lose his leg." Uh oh. Sounds like it could be brutal. Until next week, take care.