Hello good people, and welcome back to your one stop shop for Survivor info, analysis and snark. Previously on Survivor: ten people learned that they were going to be playing their favorite game against some of their favorite former Survivors. Upon introduction we noticed that James was even frickin bigger, Amanda had put on some weight, Parvati was every bit as slutty as the first time, Jonathan still wears goofy hats, Yau Man is still short and Jonny Fairplay is still money. The favorites paired off, Ami and Jonathan schemed, someone named Kathy met her first gay person and her first implant, the Fans have a mountain named Joel on their team, they also have Leif Garrett and Jon Bon Jovi circa 1984, Jonny Fairplay finally lost his virginity and it made him so sad, he asked his tribe to send him home. Which they did. That sound you hear is Mark Burnett's tears that his sure thing ratings boost wussed out after only three days.
Survivor: Micronesia - Fans Vs Favorites
The Sounds of Jungle Love
By Jim Van Nest
February 18, 2008
Well, today is Valentine's Day, so I guess it's only fitting that tonight's episode is rumored to be all about love. With two couples formed on the favorites tribe and some racy footage in the promos, tonight should be a night of firsts for Survivor. Also, we're promised a very physical challenge which should pit James against Joel in the Survivor battle of the decade. I guess we need to see if Ozzy can take his tongue out of Amanda's mouth long enough to show up for a challenge. If not, his love alliance could wind up in some trouble. Either way, we're sure to actually learn the names of some of the fans tonight, so that's something to look forward to. And without further ado, let's get right to Week 2 of Survivor: Micronesia - Fans Vs Favorites.
We begin the show at the Favorites camp after dumping Jonny Fairplay. Apparently on the way back, Ozzy barehanded a fish out of the water. So they dump Fairplay and have a nice meal. Jonathan is a bit disappointed in losing a main cog in his plan, but he feels that they're getting ready to go on a nice run and win almost any challenge. Cue the credits...
We come back to check in with the Fans. They're still trying to get organized. As they all try to over talk each other, we, the viewers, have no frickin idea what they're saying. Looks like the first order of business is to start a fire. They have a few close calls, but several hours and half the flint go by with no fire. Crazy Kathy, Chet and Tracy are complaining that they need to get a shelter and need to stop messing with the fire. We are quickly seeing a divide between the three older folks and the seven younger ones. As Kathy breaks down in tears for the 98th time in four days, the older folks decide to build their own shelter away from the rest of the group. Can't wait to see how that works for everyone.
But over at the Malakal tribe, we're fishing and stuff. As Ozzy brings in a huge clam, Jonathan tells us again that he feels his tribe is in a good spot for the challenge. Cue the porn music. Ozzy tells us how much he's liking Amanda and how they need to stay away from each other or else everyone will notice. I'll give him this; he never was much of a strategic player. Dude, they noticed it five minutes in. Do you think they're stupid? Continuing on this theme, we see Parvati helping James get coconuts. She tells us that she started out flirting with James, because "he's just so cute." Blech! I think I just threw up in my mouth. Amanda tells us about the James and Parvati thing as well as her and Ozzy aligning with them. She says it's a good alliance but she doesn't want the couple-ness to mess up her game.
And while they all prepare to consummate their alliance, let's see how the Airal 3's new shelter is going. Well, color me impressed. They have a fantastic shelter constructed. So much so that the younger folks are checking it out and taking notes. Tracy, while pleased with her shelter, won't be happy til they have some fire. So the next wave of fire starting commences and it finally works. They found some big clams and with fire, the Fans are finally going to get full. And with the food and water, they seem to be getting along again. It's amazing what a good meal can do for you. And now that they're fed, we learn that Mikey B and Mary are now becoming a couple. Good lord, what the hell am I watching??? We get a confessional from Joel where he mentions that he sees the love connection and while he's keeping his eye on it, he's more concerned with keeping his tribe strong, which means Kathy, Tracy and Chet are in trouble.
Bow chicka wow wow! We come back to the show while most of the Favorites sleep. And while the majority sleeps, Ozzy and Amanda officially become Ozmanda. Thinking everyone's asleep, I'm sure they'll be surprised to know that Cirie and Jonathan are awake and very much aware of what's going on. To quote Cirie, "I think we'll be receiving birth announcements from Amanda on her little Oz-lets that she's about to have." She says it's a little more than just alliances and that's what makes it scary.
Real quick, I have to interject here how disappointed I am in this turn of events. I don't care that people may fall in love out on Survivor. The whole Romber thing doesn't bother me at all. What bothers me is the getting hot and heavy physical with all the cameras rolling like that. Leave that shit to the jack-tards on Big Brother. This is Survivor. To me shows like Survivor and the Amazing Race should be above this stuff. Leave that for the MTV, VH1 and Fox reality shows. Try to stay classy from here on out, Survivor. Sorry about that...
Anyway, Jonathan says they're totally stupid for doing this with everyone else right there. As Cirie and Jonathan talk, they both discuss that this foursome needs to be broken up. Cirie tells us that her first priority is to bust them up. She and Jonathan make a deal to work together and bust up that alliance. And with the numbers firmly in hand, they prepare for today's challenge.
Probst sighting!!! The Fans applaud at the announcement that Fairplay was voted out first. Wow, this is an immunity challenge. Each tribe will select five swimmers, three puzzle makers and one key master. On his go, one person at a time will cross a string of "lily pads" and then swim out to a platform where they'll climb up and grab a club. They'll use the club to jump off the platform and smash a ceramic plate which holds a bag with a key. As they hit the water they have to get their key and swim back to shore. Once they have all five keys, the key master will use them to unlock five locks to a box that contains several brick puzzle pieces. When put together, the pieces form a map of Micronesia. The three puzzle makers will put the puzzle together. First tribe done wins immunity. They're also playing for reward. Fishing gear. I could be wrong, but even with his late night activity; I still think Ozzy was aroused at the sight of the fishing gear. But wait, there's more. The winning tribe will get to select someone from the losing tribe to go to Exile Island. And there's one more twist that will be revealed after the challenge. Worth playing for? The Fans sit out Kathy in this challenge. Survivors ready?
Coming into this game, Jason has compared himself to Ozzy quite a bit. Probst has said how much he idolizes Ozzy's strength in challenges. And it's fitting that this challenge starts off with Ozzy vs. Jason. Go!! And within five seconds, Ozzy has left Jason in his dust. By the time Jason reaches the surface with his key, Ami is on her way out into the water. Alexis comes up next for the fans and pretty much keeps up the pace. The favorites are well in the lead. Amanda takes off next for the Favorites and Chet heads out for the Fans. Amanda blows Chet away and furthers the Favorites lead. As Parvati head out onto the course, Chet still cannot find his key. As it turns out, Chet cannot dive down deep enough to get it. As Parvati heads back with the fourth key, Joel is yelling at Chet to just get out of the water. Jonathan takes off next for the Favorites and I have to say, he was man possessed on this challenge. Like, he could have given Ozzy a run for his money here. Wouldn't have figured that. As Mikey B makes his way onto the course, Jonathan is having trouble finding his key. Eric heads out for key number four as Jonathan finally finds the fifth Favorite key. James takes the five keys and starts unlocking the locks as Erik comes back with key four. Jason heads back out to get Chet's key for the Fans. The Favorites are working on their puzzle long before Jason gets back with the 5th key. Cirie, Eliza and Yau Man make quick work of the puzzle and with ease; the Favorites win immunity and reward. In an odd move, the Favorites choose Crazy Kathy to go to Exile Island. The twist, though, is that the winning tribe has to choose someone from their own tribe to join her. After a discussion, Cirie volunteers to go. As they head out, the Favorites gather up their gear and everyone heads back to camp.
We come back with Kathy and Cirie as they get to Exile Island. Kathy is very excited to be there with her. And the super duper Survivor fan gets mixed up when telling Cirie how much she liked her on the, um...well...her season. They find the first clue for the hidden immunity idol. And it appears that this year's hidden idol is a scavenger hunt. Cirie tells us that on a tribe with two strong alliances of four and herself, she really needs to find this idol. As they make their way across the ocean to another island, they find the second clue, which tells them to go back across the ocean to where they started. I'm mentioning real quick that the water between these islands is shallow enough to walk in, so they're walking back and forth, in waist deep water. So as they head back for clue three, they're both starting to tire. They find the third clue and you guessed it. Gotta go back across the ocean. The fourth clue is a little harder to find. When they do find it, it sends them back across the water again. Listening to Cirie describe the idol search is one of the funnier moments I remember on Survivor.
Before we go back to camp, I have to mention something about Cirie. This is her second time on the show. Neither time has she come with any strategy whatsoever. She's not very useful in challenges and she does next to nothing around camp. Anyone who reads my stuff should know that she is the exact type of Survivor player I cannot stand and feel is a huge waste of a slot that could have gone to me. That being said, Cirie is just so damned cute, I can't help but love her. I hope she last to the end again because she makes this show fun. Okey, enough of the love, let's get back to the scheming and planning for Tribal.
As the Airai tribe gets back, it's time to play, "It's anyone but Chet." Mikey is telling his group that Chet is the obvious boot. He tanked the challenge today, so he has to go. And right here is where the episode starts to get confusing. First off, I'll remind everyone that Kathy has an immunity idol from day one that she has to use tonight. She's also on Exile Island, where she might be finding another idol. So that sets Mikey into over-analyzation mode. He mentions that if she finds the second idol, she could give it to Chet and then the vote would bounce back on someone in their group, probably Jason. So, he devises this plan where he, Jason, Erik and Joel will vote for Chet and Alexis and Natalie and Mary will vote for Tracy, so that no matter who may or may not have an idol, the biggest number of votes will be on one of the three older folks. (Never mind that the other folks will vote together and force a 3-3 tie.) He's made this plan so convoluted that he's losing some of his alliance mates. Joel gets a little annoyed with the whole thing. He tells us that Mikey has come up with a plan and that he thinks he's totally in charge of what's going on. Also, he has Mary in his pocket. To Joel, that's a dangerous combination. Anyone who thinks he's in charge needs to have his alliance busted up. He plans to shake things up at Tribal already.
We come back from break and Joel is talking to Erik and Alexis about his concerns over Mikey. He tells them that either Mikey needs to go or at the very least, he and Mary need to go. Erik agrees and thinks that this might be a good idea. He says that Mikey is too smart and this is a good plan. Joel has said that Mary should go; Erik asks why not Mikey? Joel feels like they may need Mikey in challenges, so Mary becomes the target of this new alliance. As Kathy gets dropped off, Joel goes to Chet and Tracy to see if they want to join with him and break up Mike and Mary.
As the rains come, Kathy asks what has been going on at camp. Joel tells her to vote Mary. Kathy goes to Chet and Tracy about this turn of events. They basically tell her to shut up and go with it. Tracy is not sure she can trust Joel, though. Mary tells us that Joel is talking to people, but she's pretty sure that they will be voting their weakest link off tonight. Joel feels that if his plan works tonight, he'll be running the show. But he is very worried that all his running around today may have put the target on his back.
And with that, we head to Tribal Council. Jeff starts by asking Kathy how she ended up with the idol. She says that Yau Man showed her where it was. He explains how this idol will work and then goes on to Chet about the challenge. He mentions that Chet was totally exhausted out there, to which Chet says he wasn't really. He was just spending too much time out there so he thought he should come back in. Jeff says that's much more credit than he would have given him. He asks what was going through his head, as he can feel the pressure. Chet says he would have liked for it to have been better but it didn't turn out that way. Mikey B jumps in to say what was so frustrating was that if he wasn't that strong of a swimmer, why wouldn't he have mentioned that and done the best thing for the team?
Jeff moves on to Tracy and asks about camp life. She mentions the divide between the age groups. He then asks Natalie if she sees people getting in groups. She mentions the two shelters thing, much to Jeff's surprise. He asks Alexis about that and she describes the groups in each shelter. This sends Jeff back to Chet asking if he's concerned that there are seven people in one shelter to his three. He says that it's all out of his control at this point, but he's concerned. Jeff asks Mary about alliances and she says she sees them starting to build but that she feels very comfortable with whom she chooses to be friends with. Jeff asks Joel how he bases his vote this early in the game. He actually doesn't answer the question but he does say that he doesn't know any of these people so he doesn't care if any of them go. He also says that he would not be surprised at all if they've gotten together to vote him off tonight. He also hints that you just never know who will be the one to be voted off at any time. And with that, it's time to vote. Kathy will be keeping her immunity.
We only see one vote tonight and it's Mikey B's for Chet. He says that he blew it with his body, brains and heart and that's not acceptable to be on his team. We don't see the vote, but we hear Alexis's comments that she was just voting with the majority. Jeff tallies the votes and they come up like this: Chet, Chet, Tracy, Mary (and Mikey B looks suspicious), Mary, Tracy. As the last votes come up Mary, Mikey is in complete shock at this turn of events. As she takes the walk of shame, Mikey is still perplexed. Jeff congratulates them on the first Tribal Council being the first blindside. I totally understand Joel's play here and it may work for him. I just think he might have played that card a couple votes too early. But, I guess we'll see, won't we?
Next time on Survivor: Cirie is going to make a play. She has to decide which side to take in this four on four thing, and it looks like she's making her move next week. The storms come and the Fans continue to suffer. And it's war between the two tribes as they're all in war paint and beating the crap out of each other. Ah...finally we'll see the Joel/James match up. Can't wait to see how that works out.
Before I sign off, I'd like to start a new weekly segment where I post a quick complaint about being in the middle of my tenth season of Survivor recaps, yet somehow STILL not being included in the Fans tribe this time around. I'm thinking I need to ask the eight of you who still read this nonsense to help me out for Survivor 17 and/or 18. I'm going to begin sending a link of my recaps every week to CBS.com. If everyone that reads this column took a few seconds to do the same, that would be super duper. The link to CBS.com's feedback forum is: CBS.com Feedback. Thanks for your consideration. Until next week, take care.