BOP Shop Talk
By BOP Staff
August 3, 2007

Hey, look! Whores!

You don't know it, but Jason Bourne is behind you, looking over your shoulder right now

Dan Krovich: The early reviews say that this is the best of the series, which is already pretty impressive. I believe that Damon has said that this will be his last Bourne movie. Do you think the series can continue with another actor a la Bond?

Jim Van Nest: Other than Potter 5, Bourne Ultimatum is my most anticipated movie of the year. I never expected to like the Bourne films and I didn't think Damon would be good at all. As it is, I'm now convinced that Matt Damon can play just about anything well. The fact that early reviews call this Bourne the best of the trilogy has me even more excited to see it.

As far as someone else taking over as Jason Bourne...I'm not sure I'm thrilled with the idea of making any more films. I know there's one more book out there and probably some more planned, but it bothers me a little that Bourne Identity was a hit movie before Ludlum went back to write a fourth title. It just reeks of Thomas Harris-itis to me and I fear that even with Damon, The Bourne Legacy will fall flat and seem like a weak attempt to keep a series alive.

Kim Hollis: It's not like the movies have come anywhere close to following the books, anyway. Basically, they could take Ludlum's title and do something completely different.

Reagen Sulewski: It's too bad they killed Clive Owen's character in the first one.

Shane Jenkins: I really liked the energy that Paul Greengrass brought to the last one, so I'm happy he's back on this one.

I think that making a Bourne sans-Damon would be similar to making a Spidey sans-Maguire/Dunst/Raimi, which is to say that I think it might happen, but will be a costly mistake. Aside from the Bonds and the Cox/Hopkins Hannibal Lecters, I can't think of any really successful movies where different people played the same character and managed to pull it off. Some might cite the Harrison Ford Jack Ryan movies; I would not. The person leaving the role would have to be such a non-entity that their replacing would either not be noticed or would be welcomed. I expect that Maggie Gyllenhaal's substitution for Katie Holmes in the Dark Knight will be one such example of that. But Damon brings a lot of personality to Bourne, without looking like he's doing much. It's a tricky performance, because he doesn't usually get to do much "emoting," and I think the main reason audiences respond to the character is his interpretation. Damon, like Bruce Willis, has a central presence that makes all the crazy stuff going on around him seem more believable.

David Mumpower: As a lot of you teased me mercilessly about at the time, I chose The Bourne Identity as the best movie of 2002. The Bourne Supremacy was my number three film of 2004. So, when I see critics indicating that this is the best one in the series, I have to wonder just how much they enjoyed the first two titles in the franchise. It's hard for me imagine a better movie than The Bourne Identity, a film I consider to be the best pure action release since Die Hard. That's a splitting of hairs, though. The current Rotten Tomatoes score of 93% tells me that Paul Greengrass, whom we lauded as the fourth best director in last year's Calvins, has delivered the goods once again. I fully expect this to open to $65 million, and WOM could carry it to $200 million domestically. This is the biggest remaining title on the summer schedule, even over Rush Hour 3.

Kim Hollis: The glorious advance praise The Bourne Ultimatum has received should really give it a bump over opening weekend. People who might have been on the fence - having been burned by numerous three-quels this summer - will be convinced that this is the one to see. As for someone other than Damon playing Bourne, I just can't see it. Let the series end here and if you want to bring it back in ten years or so, try it with a different actor at that point.

Speed of lightning, power of thunder, fighting all who rob or plunder, Underdog!

Tony Kollath: No way I'd go near Underdog, but Jason's delivery of "give the dog your foooood" in the trailer cracks me up every time.

Shane Jenkins: I agree, and then my friends are always like "you think that's funny? You want to see Underdog? You were laughing at Underdog!" and I'm like "Nooooooooooooo, I just like that one script-doctored moment! Please believe me!"

James Wood: So is it pretty clear that Jason got the memo from Tom Cruise that his Kevin Smith and Earl money was just not going to be enough to make Grand Thetan or whatever and needed to step it up?

David Mumpower: Look, I'm just going to say it. I think the "touche" joke works.

I guess I win the "Who's the biggest Jason Lee fan" prize.

Kim Hollis: No, no. It's not just you, David. I think it looks pretty charming. Then again, I was always a sucker for talking animal movies.

I will say that I was a huge fan of the cartoon and expect the live-action movie to be absolutely nothing like its source material. I don't mind when it's Jason Lee, Peter Dinklage and Puddy in the film, though.

Coming soon: the Andy Samberg action doll with real scars

Dan Krovich: Okay, so I laugh at the missed jump over the truck in the Hot Rod trailer, but I feel like that would be the only thing I laugh at in the entire movie.

Les Winan: Take everything you read about this movie and add the phrase "in a box" and it's bound to be hilarious.

Reagen Sulewski: I question whether there's an audience for "Jackass with a Plot".

Jerry Simpson: Speaking of "in a box" how about that Isla Fischer!

This movie looks like donkey balls, and I worked on it.

Les Winan: Is that quote going on the DVD box or one sheet?

Tim Briody: I'm with Dan here. It's comedy gold but they're giving it away in hopes that it gets people to show up this weekend. The Lonely Island guys have a lot of promise, but this isn't following through on it.

Shane Jenkins: This apparently was written for Will Ferrell, which explains the Kicking and Screaming vibe I'm getting off it. I like Andy Samberg, I guess, but doesn't this star vehicle seem a little premature? Is that all it takes to get your own movie now? Rapping about Red Vines with Chris Parnell?

Tim Briody: Looks like we're all in agreement that not many people will be droppin' Hamiltons on this.

David Mumpower: I think it is being plainly marketed as Jackass Meets Napoleon Dynamite.

Given the fact that their "Chronic of Narnia"/Lazy Saturday segment on SNL is one of the most over-hyped, underwhelming videos ever aired on YouTube, I fully expect this to suck. Having said that, I also seem to be the only person here who believes it will open to double digits.

Kim Hollis: ll I know about this movie is that Ian McShane is in it. Why, Ian, why?

I might rent the DVD and fast forward to Ian's scenes. Otherwise, I can't comprehend why anyone would pay cash money to see this in a theater.

It's awesome when slut dolls can teach kids the value of human interaction!

Dan Krovich: Um, really. Bratz is a movie. And it's coming out on Friday. Really.

Shane Jenkins: I love that they took the opening ten minutes of Mean Girls and made an entire movie out of it.

Reagen Sulewski: Oddly, one of the things that bugs me the most about this movie is how they turn the word "clique" into "click".

Stephanie DeGateo: One of the things that bugs me about this movie is that it actually exists. Seriously, I weep for my daughter's generation.

Michael Bentley: Granted I've only seen the trailer, but I have to be honest... it looks significantly better than I would have expected. Of course... I was expecting something on the same level as Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, so that's not saying much.

David Mumpower: For the past six months, I have been annoyed that this was going to be a movie success in addition to its popular selling line of dolls. In fact, I had to buy one of these for my niece for Christmas a couple of years ago, and I felt like I was ruining her life so much I might as well throw some lipstick on her and drop her off at the docks. That's why I am giddy at the news that it's not going to do well. The late summer screen crunch has given it only 1,509 venues with which to work and I doubt it even clears $6 million. This is a big win for the Don't Tart Up Your Eight-Year-Olds crowd.

Tim Briody: Really? So few screens? *Turns the Doomsday Clock back a minute*

Jim Van Nest: I'm with you David. While they're not totally to blame and in the grand scheme of things, Bratz probably has very little to do with this...but the change in our culture that seems to be telling young girls that the way to be accepted and get boys is to act like a stripper, is extraordinarily disturbing. And again, Bratz didn't start this, but they certainly don't do anything to stop it.

As far as movies go, nothing would make me happier than to see this one make about $37 for the weekend.

Kevin Chen: I don't understand why you want the people associated with this to make money.

Jim Van Nest: Just to clarify...I'm not saying $37million. I'm saying $37.00.

Kevin Chen: To reiterate, I don't understand why you want this to make money.

Les Winan: Uh, Feathers, he means $37.00, not $37,000,000. Didn't you read the clarification?

Kevin Chen: My bad. I thought he said $.37.

Reagen Sulewski: *holds up newborn meme, Lion King-style*

David Mumpower: I guess what we're saying is that we're all anti-Bratz.

And Kevin hates it the most.

Les Winan: I'd like him to clarify that point.

You are now carrying my child. It is the magic of the dance.

Dan Krovich: I think El Cantante could be interesting. Now that the tabloids have turned their attention elsewhere maybe J Lo can get back to being an actress, which I actually think she's pretty talented at, and Marc Anthony has been good in the supporting roles he's done.

Tim Briody: Hands down the upcoming release I've seen the most television ads for. Underdog is a distant second.

David Mumpower: Tim, what type of freaky channels do you watch? Your trailer viewings never line up with anyone else's.

I'm not even convinced El Cantante is a real movie at this point. I suspect it's just Lopez and Anthony's wedding video.

Tim Briody: Hot Rod is sneaking up fast over the last few days, actually. And I have no freaking idea what the hell I'm watching at times.

David Mumpower: Seriously, what channels do you watch most often? Network or cable? If it's the latter, which cable channels are you hitting most often?

Tim Briody: I don't think I've watched anything on a network the whole summer. Lately it's been whichever's got a baseball game on, being SNY or the CW for the Mets, YES for the Yankees (though I don't remember them having much in the way of movie ads), TBS for the Braves and ESPN for whichever game they're showing. USA is probably the most watched on top of that. Typically they're on in the background, perhaps I'm just noticing the El Cantante ads more. I should track these sort of things.

Reagen Sulewski: Tim's TV only gets Univision.

Kim Hollis: Which is fortunate, because he gets to watch Sabato Gigante all the time!